The question came up today “why do virtual doctor visits go so fast?” After digging deeper, we realized there is something about the virtual context that moves the interaction from relational to transactional. Not only are virtual conversations “cheaper” because we aren’t required to fully invest our time or attention, but these interactions often include small nonverbal cues that communicate busyness and a lack of commitment.

For a telehealth visit, when a provider stacks quick, closed ended questions on top of a provider-patient relationship where the patient barely knows the provider, it is no surprise that complex questions and disclosures don’t happen because trust simply doesn’t exist.

The same is true for a manager – subordinate conversation. If the staff person doesn’t know the manager well, and space is not created for deeper questioning, listening, or building of mutual respect, the interaction will be quick and superficial. It becomes easy to further “cheapen” these kinds of interactions with distracted busyness cues. As a result, many virtual interactions become purely transactional.

Transactional conversations are not always a bad thing. After all, we are busy people. However, psychological safety and effective leadership is not created through piles of one transaction stacked on top of another.

I would challenge you to consider how you might add relational value to your next virtual conversation. Including a little humanity may be just what the doctor ordered.